Wobbly

I'm having a really difficult time standing on my own two feet right now.

First and foremost, it's because I started anti-depressant medication on Friday. Zoloft. Fun freakin' stuff. The doctor warned me that there would be some side effects but that they would wear off in a week or so. I shrugged and told her I could deal with it. I took the pill Friday evening. Then the nausea started. The nausea that made my stomach unstable and made me feel uncomfortable when I ate. But I could deal with the nausea if that's all that it was. However, something else hit me that I didn't expect: insomnia. Friday night, I tossed and turned in bed, my mind a whir because it was so tired but I laid there, not being able to fall into a proper state of sleep. Saturday night and Sunday night were the same.

Secondly, I'm so tired that walking around is totally exhausting right now. If you don't dream, if you skip your REM cycle, you're launched into the totally exhausted state that I am in right now. This is not a fun state to be in, by the way.

I know that many people have mixed feeling about me taking anti-depressants. I have mixed feelings about it, too. I initially refused taking them 3 years ago but now, especially with a history of depression and drug-related problems on my father's side, taking them seems more of the right thing to do. And I know everyone's just concerned about how my body is going to handle it. How I'm going to handle it.

But, currently being so tired that I can barely type, all I can tell you is that I'm trying to deal the best way I can.