Valuable Lesson

Yesterday, my Drugs in Our Society teacher had a speaker come to our class.

The woman who came also brought her husband for support and, before the talk even began, I found out why. My class already knew that their daughter died from alcohol poisoning last December, so this was a very fresh topic. What we didn't know was how completely amazingly eye-opening the talk would be.

After a short slideshow of her daughter and her daughter's favorite songs (which definitely got me teary-eyed), the woman came back in and began to tell us about her daughter. She told us how her daughter was full of life, good at everything, and popular with everyone, but down to earth. She told us that, 5 days before Christmas, on the first day of spring break, her daughter had gone to a friend's house. They drank a lot and they drank it quick. After a short while, her daughter got sick and her friends left her next to the toilet in the bathroom, thinking that she would be fine. They found her at 9am the next morning, unconcious, and we unable to revive her. She died not long after.

The woman told my class that she had learned out of the whole ordeal that alcohol poisoning is something that most are not well informed of. Drinking and driving? Sure. Blackouts? Of course. But alcohol poisoning is just not as commonly talked about. She knows this because her daughter died of about 8 shots of 80 proof vodka.

She put it into perspective for us this way: "This is a drink," she said. "One class of beer is about 8 ounces."

"This is a wine glass," she said next. "A typical glass of wine is about 4-5 ounces."

Then she picked up the shot glass and stared at it. "This is also one drink," she told us. "One shot of hard liquor is about an ounce."

"The problem is getting people to understand that the one shot of liquor is exactly like the glass of beer. Each is one drink. However, it is much easier to do 8 shots of vodka than it is to drink 8 glasses of beer."

This really hit me hard. About two months ago, Jo and I were bored one night and decided to play a little drinking game while watching one of the Star Wars movies. The deal was that every time Anakin said "Jedi Knight," we would each take a shot of tequila. About 7 shots into the movie, we decided to end the game and I am ridiculously glad that we did, now. It scares me that a shot or two more could have put my life into a ridiculous amount of danger. I know that I'll probably never do anything like that ever again after knowing this. If a 5'6" girl weighing only 107 can die from 8 shots of vodka, I can die from the same amount, if not just a bit more.

The woman and her husband aren't trying to teach people to stop drinking, just to drinking responsibly. I know that I definitely will from now on. I hope you do too.

Human Sexuality

There are some very dumb people in this world.

I realize that my Human Sexuality class is a GE class and that most students taking it are freshman or sophomores. I'm not, though. I'm a junior. I'm taking this for my major. I am genuinely curious about the human body and how it works. I am excited to find out about what drugs do to your brain. I wish I wouldn't have to read a textbook to find out but it interests me. So, when people ask me truly dumb questions, all I want to do is ask them if they went to high school.

For example, before my first major Human Sexuality test today, a girl (not blond and I'm not stereotyping) was asking some of us to give her some of the answers on the study guide.

Girl: Do you know what andosperm is?
Blank stares all around me.
Me: It's male sperm.
Girl: And gynosperm...
Me: Female sperm.
She stares at me like I've just shocked the poo out of her, so I decide to explain.
Me: You know. 'Cause the guy produce both sexes, xx sperm or female sperm and xy sperm or male sperm. It's the guy's sperm that decide whether or not the baby is going to be male or female.
Girl: Wow... how do you know so much?
Me: *blink blink* Uh... well... I... uh... took a lot of science classes in high school.

And I really only took physical science, biology, and chemistry but SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE? Not knowing that the whole reason why women need men is because of their sperm to complete the whole baby-making and gene/chromosome deciding process? Seriously??

I am dumb-founded.

Caffeine Machine

Me and my Pepi... we go way, way back. I don't remember the days when I wasn't sipping that sweet, sugary goodness, hoping to stay awake for another class. So when I heard the words "the government might regulate caffeine" in my Drugs in Our Society class, I had to dig deeper. I needed to know: would I be regulated as to how much how soda I'm allowed to drink in a day before "intoxication"? Are they going to tax soda even higher then they already do? Since I'm not a coffee drinker and energy drinks mess my already excitable system up, I'm incredibly curious to know what they will do to soda.

According to an article by the Wall Street Journal (linked and posted here: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203674704574328322293679870.html), the main regulation that people are encouraging for is the mixing of caffeine and alcohol.

"Proponents of tougher regulation are calling for everything from outright bans to warning labels stating that mixing caffeine and alcohol could carry health or safety risks. A primary concern of the groups is that caffeine and other stimulants may mask feelings of drunkenness, which could lead users to act recklessly, such as driving while intoxicated."

Of course, me being the brilliant person that I am, I had no idea what-so-ever that they put caffeine in alcoholic drinks and the other way around. It makes sense, though; people love to play with things they shouldn't play with. I totally agree with this regulation, especially because it is mentioned later on in the article that the risk of accidents people get into due to alcohol rises with the addiction of caffeine. It freaks me out how people take so many risks on alcohol. Did you know that the more you black out, the more often you can black out? It's a pretty scary fact.

However, alcohol aside, I'll turn to another article (http://www.cypnow.co.uk/inDepth/ByDiscipline/Education/936907/Health---dangers-caffeine/) by the NCB (National Child's Bureau) about just caffeine in specifics. It appears, from the looks of this article, that they are thinking of just putting regulations on energy drinks. (Whew!) This is because of all of the young people now (in high school, especially) who are consuming a ridiculous amount of energy drinks. I supposed I don't have to tell you this, though. You probably have either tried, currently use, or know someone who uses energy drinks for that extra kick or to "party like a rockstar."

"Phillips believes some young people are using the drinks as "a legal way to get high". He says some teenagers see the drinks as a cool status symbol, because their packaging resembles beer or cider cans."

Well... no. I went to a high school where energy drinks were cool but I think it's a bit of a stretch to suggest that they're like beer cans. Now, if the kids were "cool", they could convince one of their older friends to buy them one of the alcoholic caffeine drinks and really find a way to get high. These are drinks that keep you awake in class; why wouldn't high school-age kids drink these drinks? Many of them, such as Amp (in my opinion), taste like soda (Amp tastes like Mountain Dew), so that's a plus.

Although, some do taste really nasty, and I can't imagine how people can choke them down. Monster for example. I just shudder to think about it.

"He has witnessed young people suffer from twitching, paranoia and aggressiveness as a result of caffeine drink consumption.

"'They cannot stop their actions because they are suffering withdrawal symptoms when trying to limit their intake, so we have been treating it as an addiction,' he says."

Ok, this really made me think of a website (http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine) that I stumbled across one day that I need to share with everyone. This will involve hours of fun. No joke. You write down your weight, "pick your poison", and find out how fast how many caffeine drinks of the brand could kill you. I'm a lightweight so, for example, after talking about Amp, it would take 104.65 cans of Amp to kill me. On the other hand, it would only take 47.57 Pitt Bull Caffeine bars to kill me. Scary, huh?

Seriously, though, I realize that this subject is actually quite a big deal. If you didn't know, caffeine is a legal drug and should be used with extreme caution. It is highly addicted and I know people who are strongly addicted to it. I've had teachers who come to a 9am class with a half-consumed can of Cola in their hands. I've even struggled with it, especially when I have to wake up after only 6 hours of restless sleep and attend an early class. It's very tempting to down just a can at 10am, then another around 3pm, and maybe finish off with one around 8pm to keep me awake to study. I don't do that (because I would go into water withdrawals if I drank 3 cans of soda a day) but I'm saying that it's the thought that's there.

If you've never heard of the story, there was an energy drink called Spike Shooter that came out a couple of years ago that had very scary amount of caffeine in it. On the can, if you even bothered to read it, it says that kids under 16 shouldn't drink it and, when consumed, the person should only drink half of the drink at one time. This drink ended up hospitalizing several teens because drinking an entire can gave them heart palpitations. I looked it up on the Death by Caffeine site and this one could kill me in 26.16 cans. That is VERY scary.

So, watch what you drink.

But, those of you who drink soda, you have no worries about being regulated. Or even dying. Because, if it really would take me 206.55 cans of Pepsi to kill me, I'm going to keep guzzling like nobody's business, baby.

The Part I Am Greatful For

I had this blog all written out about a part of my life that I wish would disappear.

Then I watched this video.



I have seen this video at least ten times and, every time, it reminds me why I am a Christian. I'm going to stop caring about what I want to disappear and focus on why I'm glad that I'm here and how I remember who I really am.

Please watch this video. It's amazing. It certainly changed my life and it really confirms why Lifehouse has been my favorite band for the past 4 years.

Please God... let it be a cold...

I read the same article over and over for an hour before I realized that I hadn't gotten anywhere.

I feel nauseous. It might be because Jo's mom took us to Red Lobster to dinner tonight and I haven't had rich food in... months.

It might be because I have the flu.

I also feel exhausted, which makes me grumpy and irritable.

But... oh God...

Please let it pass.

Barely Awake

Yesterday was Jo's 22nd birthday. It's so funny that he's now two years older than me and he's been able to drink legally for a year. We went to a fairly expensive sushi bar with some good friends who love sushi as much as we do (and it's hard to find a good sushi bar in NorCal because you're far from the ocean) and Jo tried sake for the first time. He loved the hot sake but, of course, he's a lightweight (as am I), so he felt the effects right away. I actually had a tiny sip of it, but it was kind of cold by that time. I liked it but I still would have liked to have tried it hot. 3 1/2 more months until I can!

I also had a job interview yesterday.

I've needed a part-time job for quite a while now. I get just enough money from the government to get by; however, if any of my friends want to go to a movie, I'm scraping the barrel for every last dollar. In reality, I only need about 12 hours of work. An extra $150-$200 a month would just be fantastic! If I got this job, I'd be working at one of the front desks at the university, assisting students on how to get places on campus. I could do that! 5 years of customer service experience right here! I think the interview went fairly well and, supposedly, I'm going to find out if I either get a second interview or just get the job or didn't get anything on the 1st of October, the day I'm driving down to the Writers Conference. So, I'll either be coming home to my mom with a "yaaaay!" or an "awww... darn."

We'll just have to wait and see.

I keep thinking about the conference, which is literally a week a way. I know that I have articles to edit this weekend, a chapter to finish for my class (yes, we finally get to FINISH the chapter in my Computer class), and a Human Sexuality test to study for but all I want to do is write. I've written the Prologue and the first part of Chapter One, but, other than that, I'm finding it hard to find time to write this week.

However, I've been debating on posting a bit of my prologue here. What do you all think of that idea? I'm mostly afraid that someone would steal it.

I've also discovered that I am tired all the time now. I never thought that was possible but it's true. I'm pretty used to it now and the only time when it ever consumes me is in the morning. For example, I got up at 9am this morning, ate a bowl of cereal, and then sat back down on my bed to write a blog entry. At 10:15am, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of total exhaustion and could barely keep my eyes open, so I set my laptop aside and laid down, thinking I would close my eyes for just a couple of minutes. I woke again at 11am and got up to do some chores before Jo's mom got here. And then it was go go go from then on, working on my Human Sexuality study guide and studying for my Statistics test. I just don't seem to have time for anything until 11pm, unless I try to get some writing in during the middle of the day. It's sad.

This aside, I was shocked to learn that my university's health center ordered 1,000 flu shots and they ran out in just 2 days. Being a health major and in the health professionals club, that's just awesome to me! I cant wait for the H1N1 shots to come out so I can get myself vaccinated.

8 days until Writers Conference!!

Slightly Scary

I have little word processor called a Neo that I've been carrying around quite a lot lately. It makes me feel like a true writer whenever I bring it to a friend's house and get the "What the hell is THAT?" look from everyone else sitting there with their laptops.

To me, it's better than carrying around my MacBook because I can work on my novel and not get tempted to get on the internet. Not that I would know how to get online with the thing even if it did get internet (and some models do but I chose the less expensive, more practical one). I discovered that I have no clue how to work the thing last night after writing the beginning to chapter one - draft two (*little jump of excitement*) of my novel and hitting command-N to name the document. I named it... and then it suddenly disappeared from the screen. Oh my gosh, I thought to myself. I killed it. It's gone. What have I done? Two great paragraphs, a half an hour worth of work... I looked up to tell someone how horrified I was and then saw four boys (including the boyfriend) playing Super Smash Brother's on my friend's N64 and decided to keep it quiet.

Instead, I did the smartest think I could think of: hitting command-*insert letter here* with every letter on the keyboard. Something was bound to recover TWO PARAGRAPHS that I had written. I already knew that I couldn't remember what exactly I had written, so what could I lose, right? It wasn't until I hit command-O and started scrolling down that I miraculously found out that I can name documents and save them in another place on my Neo!!! My heart did leaps as I saw my document and my two paragraphs were recovered. Thank God.

I also ended up recovering this little poem. I must have written it ages ago but, reading it now, I feel that it is the obvious reason why the government wants to put a restriction on caffeine (which I'll talk about some other time). Anyway, here you go, for your enjoyment (and my humiliation):

Ode to My Pepsi

Oh –

That brown liquid that I cant get enough of;

The sweet sensation,

Burning and stinging as it slides down my throat,

Tingling my tongue,

Fizzing as I set down the bright blue can.

It loves me dearly.

From the moment I’m struck with that first sip

To the last gulp, shaking and draining the can,

A beggar for every last drop.

I’m addicted, just like my mom;

Although she tries to hide it

By not buying it in six-packs or large 40 oz. bottles

But, never-the-less,

It somehow ends up in our refrigerator.

We have a grand history, my Pepsi and I.

I loved it from the first sugary drop;

It always leaves me wanting more,

Never am I satisfied.

It cools my warm palms on a summer day

And, in turn,

I buy it in mass quantities:

In bottles,

Cans,

And, just like my mother,

Dumping it in tall glasses,

Never daring to drink without ice and a straw,

It will never leave me,

Nor betray my love,

Always with the same tangy flavor,

My addiction.

My Pepsi.

Not Horrible At All

On Friday night, Jo and I went to the local theater to see a live production of my 2nd favorite show by Joss Whedon (creator of "Firefly"): "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog."

I was a little skeptical about how the production would turn out. The mini-show came out on the internet in July of 2008, when the writers were on strike, and it was a mega-hit at the time. I have the music and the DVD, and I considered getting some goggles as well to look ready for the show but, unfortunately, there wasn't enough time (or money) for that. So, we went in, hoping that the actors would be able to pull off Nathan Fillion's "Captain Hammer," Neal Patrick Harris' "Dr. Horrible," and Felicia Day's "Penny."

It went a lot better than expected! The guy who played Dr. Horrible was pretty good and his singing was decent, but I did miss Neal Patrick Harris' little quirks that he put into the character. The music was a little wacko during the show, so he was able to pull off the song without the music for a couple of seconds. My favorite song of his was definitely "Freeze Ray" because all of the people pretending to be in the laundry mat kept pulling out odd articles of clothing, such as a pair of booty shorts with "juicy" written on the back and a bright pink thong. He also was able to pull of a little reaction that Neal Patrick Harris had forgotten to pull off in the original, which impressed me because I knew they had watched the extras on the DVD!! I was, however, very disappointed when he didn't pull out my favorite line in the entire first act:

The guy who played Captain Hammer, on the other hand, had the role down pat. The entire audience cheered when he rode in singing, "A maaaan's gotta a do what a maaaan's gotta do... Seeeems destiny end with meeee saving you." He knew just when to look arrogant and how to switch from that to the sweetest expression he could muster when Penny looked at him. Nathan Fillion would have been proud. He also had two hysterical moments, one that was meant to be funny and the other one that was an accident. The first was when he looked Dr. Horrible in the face and said, without smiling (props for this): "The hammer... is my penis." The audience cheered and laughed and, somehow, he was able to keep a straight face. The second was at the end of the show. There were these people dressed all in black like ninjas who did little prop changes while the actors were on stage and one was hiding in the corner at the end of the show. As Captain Hammer yells, "Mommy! Someone maternal!" he pushed a podium off stage and, in the same whiny, crying voice, says, "waaaaaah.... waaaatch ouuuut niiinjaaaa..." Yea... you would have had to have been there. It was so funny, though, that it took Dr. Horrible a couple of seconds to recover and continue with the show. (I love Nathan Fillion's grin in this picture...)

The girl who played Penny threw me off at first, mainly because they had deviated from her stereotype as the skinny girl with red hair that the beautiful Felicia Day is; however, I really liked that looks wasn't a concern. She had a really great singing voice, especially for "Penny's Song." She especially pulled off the awkwardness between Captain Hammer and herself pretty well. This picture below is Penny and Dr. Horrible in his song, "Freeze Ray."

All in all, the show was a really good interpretation. It did make me want to come home and immediately listen to the soundtrack with the voices of Neal Patrick Harris, Felicia Day, and Nathan Fillion.

So, if you haven't seen this, I would recommend Netflix-ing it or something. It's only 45 minutes long but it is a beautifully planned plot line. Joss Whedon was able to give the characters distinct personalities and the actors were able to make those personalities shine. And, if you're not going to see it, at least watch this clip and tell me what you think:

35 Things I Have Learned So Far...

Today is one of those days. One of those drink two Pepsi's in a row days. One of those come home and munch on a bag of popcorn days. One of those listen to 3 Doors Down because that's the only thing that will make me feel better days. One of those body aching days, where everything hurts, mentally and physically. One of those days where I come up with a list of things I've learned in the four weeks that I've been at a 4-year-university days because I'd rather do that than muster up enough energy to rant about my ridiculous week.

So here it goes.

1. If your parents are divorced, everything is way more complicated. This includes university and non-university stuff and you will have to deal with it weekly.
2. If you don't feel like you want to collapse of exhaustion by the 4th week, you're either not taking enough classes or involved in enough clubs because, by this time, everyone is saying, "HOLY CRAP!"
3. Use your friends who have been here longer than you. Seriously. Use them for job opportunities and for finding a good place to hang out when you're bored and for financial aid/study abroad/ect. information. Use them!
4. The moment that you think something is a big issue, it probably is just a small one in diguise. And the moment that you find that out, you will feel very frustrated.
5. You could fill every inch of your schedule and still find time to hang out with your friends. (For ex: one of my friends is taking 27 units and is in debate and the other is taking 19 units and works 30 hours a week and we all still have time to hang out somehow.)
6. If you bike to school every day for 4 weeks and decide to take the bus on a sunny day, when you really don't need to, you will feel very stupid waiting for the bus after class and seeing all of your friends bike past you to much farther destinations than where you live. Especially because in the 1/2 hour that you have to wait for the bus to show up, you could just walk home.
7. By the 4th week, if you haven't taken out a loan, you will, and if you have taken out a loan, you'll be asking for more money.
8. No one needs to go out to have fun. Staying inside and playing old school N64 for 4 hours can generate quite a bit of laughter.
9. Don't you dare do anything wrong near campus or on campus. Especially riding your bike on campus. Police are ruthless. They will ticket you for a meter expiring only 2 seconds before you get in your car, riding your bike on the wrong side of the road, not having lights on your bike at night, putting your lights on wrong, a "California stop," looking at them wrong, crashing your bike, riding upside down, sideways, and backwards, and anything else you can think of.
10. However, they will NOT ticket you if you're not registered under the state of California. Confusing?
11. The response to asking questions in the student center will only lead to this answer, "It's on the website. Did you check the website first?"
12. Even if a job is posted, don't expect them to hire you. Or anyone. Many times, they'll just decide to close it and just run overload with their current staff instead.
13. If you forgot your cell phone and have to ask someone for the time, they will look at you funny.
14. If you don't have your cell phone out during class, you're not cool.
15. The people who say that they hate texting during class will be doing it 5 minutes later, guaranteed.
16. If you're standing in financial aid, deciding on a loan, and say, "Let me call my mom," they will look at you funny.
17. Anything involving calling parents more than once a week (and you have to react to it painfully) is taboo and people will look at you funny if you mention that you talk to your mom every day. (And enjoy it.)
18. There are some teachers who want to be there and some who don't. Those who don't will either be every funny (due to sarcasm) or mean (hatred of the system, the students, and their small income) and those who do will either be funny (and you might enjoy the class) or mean (they enjoy watching you work your ass off to get that A). There is no middle ground.
19. If you're doing a group project and have a problem, try to work it out before you go to the professor. Chances are, he wont know how to help you either.
20. The classes that you think are the most relaxing will probably have the most homework due the last two weeks before finals.
21. Administration likes the student to get exercise. They achieve this by giving the student a little nugget of information and smiling as the student runs around campus, trying to figure out what to do with that nugget, before crawling back for more information and trying the process all over again.
22. There is never any parking. Day or night. Weekends? Don't think so. Holidays? You've gotta be kidding.
23. Students will use any excuse to drink. Holiday. Beer pong! Weekend. Beer pong! Stats test the next day. Beer pong! Bad day. Beer pong! Car battery exploded. Beer pong! House on fire. Beer pong!
24. Assuming this, you will find parties on days Sunday-Wednesday, not just Thursday-Saturday.
25. For some students, there is no definition of a weekend. Every day is their weekend.
26. Biking every day = about $20 spent on gas every two weeks to fill your tank up 1/2 way. At first it seems like a god-send. Then, you'll even begin to despise spending that much.
27. It is strange if anyone visits you in the first 2 months of school starting.
28. WinCo is the K-mart/WalMart of food stores. Use it. It is your best friend.
29. If your pantry isn't stocked with rice, mac and cheese, and ramen, you have too much money.
30. Cable is superfluous. Don't waste money on it. Everything you could ever want is on high speed internet (for cheap)!
31. Your university will either have more or less school spirit than your high school. If less, you will miss football games from your high school days. If more, you will laugh at the people who were previously mentioned.
32. The term "dumb blond" does apply to some people. You will meet those people.
33. Playing the Sims 2 is not cool when you are in a group of friends who enjoy War Hammer, Diablo, and Star Craft. Playing Sims 3 is iffy.
34. If you couldn't find people like you in high school, you will certainly find them in college.
35. Apple cobbler fixes everything.

So, this is the list I've combined so far. I might add more later but, for now, I cant think of anything else I could add. I bet YOU probably could, though, so feel free to comment with what you've learned at your own universities.

Valentines Day

Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine about poetry that we used to write in high school. It seems to that a lot of people in high school write poetry and I've never really been able to figure out why that is. (I know why I wrote poetry but a few of my friends, who couldn't even put a simple story together, could end up writing some of the most beautiful poetry I have ever read.) I'm assuming that, due to raging hormones in high school, poetry was written as a release from all that.

This reminds me of the fact that I'm finally going to be done with high school this year, once and for all. I know what you're probably thinking: "you're in your 3rd year of college; you've been done with it for a while!" However, that's not quite true. As a senior in high school, I experienced something that I hadn't experienced in about 3 years: being single. One of my best friends who had graduated the year before had been bugging me to "take on a freshman" or guide a new one through the craziness that is high school. Surprisingly, I actually took on this project and I say that it's surprising because I had a huge resement against freshmen at the time. My boyfriend of 3 years (who was a senior) left me for a freshman. Never-the-less, I sort-of accidentally became friends with this girl and she is finally graduating this year. I talked to her the other day and it hurt my heart so much to hear all of the high school drama that I'm finally over. I could only assure her that it would be over soon and she could start over in life.

Anyway, back to the topic of the first paragraph, I found on my myspace (which I can't believe I still have) a poem that sounds a bit like residue from high school. Since it's fairly decent poetry, I thought I would share it with you all.

The Most Mocking Holiday of the Year

I say I'm content with everything
My friends, my family
They hear me
Content with everything
My school, my work
They see me
Content with everything

And there, looming ahead, you lie
Taunting, twirling, with your red, pink, and white
Dancing and mocking, never leaving my sight
Until I am not content with everything

You laugh and you play, making my each step heavier
As I hold out my hand to you;
Brushing the bare edges, my fingertips rejoice,
And then you move away.
I am left with nothing.

You stand before me, in your pink and your red
Holding what I want, flashing what I desire
Commercialized now
Visual affection, according to the media
And I don't want it…
But I do.
Not the candy, the cards, or the gifts
But you.

You may loom ahead but I
I sit instead
Turning a blind eye as you mock me openly
And I allow myself to hide
Just for one day
I hide from you

In the darkness, then, you return to me
Colors shed; I feel your cool touch on my face
Your smile prickles my skin
And I know you have returned to me once again
Returned to my heart
And I am comforted.

What's Your Life Made Of?

I sat in the back seat of a car Saturday afternoon, staring out the window next to me, tuning out the blasting "scremo" music and hanging on to the handle of the door as the guy driving the car blasted down the street, racing his friend next to him. The guy in the front passenger seat made faces at the driver that we were racing and the guy sitting next to me was quiet, saying nothing. I assumed he wasn't pondering the same thing I was.

What was on my mind was a line that my friend had pulled on my best friend and I on Friday: "You two must either have low standards or love each other for no reason."

Love, I thought, struggling not to fall to the left as we turned right. What does he think love means? Was is this? Speeding down a street, laughing as you cut people off, making stupid jokes, after seeing a mediocre movie that only 4 people out of a group of 16 liked? This might be fun but it certainly wasn't love.

My two best friends came into town this weekend and wanted to meet the people that I hung out with. As per usual, it didn't go very well. One isn't a geek (and I hang out with mostly geeks - hence the D&D) and the other one is very shy. However, the one thing the three of us have in common is that we love one another despite our many differences; we see past everything to the true beauty that shines beneath. I don't know how many people can say that they can do that. Although we made have our bad times and our fights, although we live 10-15 hours away from one another in any direction, although our hang-out experiences maybe mediocre, we still love each other's company.

Living here, away from my best friends and my family, I realize how the college students view the best times of their lives. It is the times when they had the most fun. In this town, it's drinking. Today, I was ashamed to read an article that was specifically meant for the new students of this town. It described a typically Thursday in the life of this college girl and it basically went like this: beer pong (8-11pm), alcoholic tea(11-12), shots and beer(12-2), and more beer pong (2-4? 6?). The girl writing this article described these years of drinking every Thurs-Sat night as the best years of her college life and that she felt young doing all of this.

Myself... I can't imagine throwing my weekend nights away on black-out juice. The best times in my life have been spent with the ones that I love: giggling with the girls, watching a movie with friends, doing homework next to my boyfriend... I find it so sad that people don't really appreciate those things in life. They want their next high or their next buzz or their next... well, you get the point. This is why I don't drink or do drugs. I'm trying to appreciate the things that matter.

Do you?

Momentary Discomforts

Today was Jo and my first trip to the vet with Esther.

We were as scared as two new parents could be. She's been doing this weird thing with her left eye where she will sit with the right one open and the left one closed. This also wraps into our other theory that she is partially blind. She has always been very clumsy and it tends to affect her eating habits. For example, we feed her meal worms instead of crickets because she cannot catch a cricket even if her life depended on it. She might catch two out of five/six and then just give up because the other three/four were faster than the first two. As you can probably tell, this is not good for a gecko. If she had belonged to a family who decided to let her go in the wild, she would probably die after a very short amount of time.

The vet was very kind to us. He explained that since reptile eyes are so much different from dogs or cats, it's almost impossible to tell whether or not they are blind. He suggested that, if she's always been this clumsy, then it's possible she could have always been partially blind or just have sight problems since birth. He also explained that lizards have horrible depth perception, which is why she occasionally tries to take a suicide leap when I let her run around on my bed. He weighed her, he measured her, and he checked her eyes and mouth. She became quite peeved with him at one point and opened her mouth very wide, which indicates that she's pissed, and he soon put her back down after that. (She allowed me to pet her for about 5 seconds and then turned away, as if to say, "You're responsible for this as well.") After the short check up, the vet came to a conclusion.

My poor little gecko is suffering from obesity.

We left shortly after that; I was in a bad mood because Jo was doing all he could to torment me. "Megan spoils the little girl," he taunted. "'She looks hungry, Jo. We've got to feed her!'" And, of course, I'm trying to stay away from arguments, so it was all I could do not to explode and say something like, "You fed her too!"

Thankfully, though, that's all that's wrong with her. I'm grateful for this. If she had been impacted or had something horrible such as mouth rot, we would have left with an enormous bill. All we have to worry about it that she gets more exercise and less food. Silly thing.

Also, before I end this blog, I would like to note something silly that I just did. I have been searching for my Bible for the past 3 months, since I started living here. I've looked through boxes and drawers and bookcases but I couldn't seem to find it. 3 months. I was ready to buy a new one, a nice one (which I still might do). Then, today, Jo walked in the front door of my apartment, looked over at the top of my stationary rack, and went, "Uh... Megs..." There sat my Bible, in the one, most obvious place that I had never thought to look. Yay for brunette blond moments!

Dreams of the Past

I love walking into used bookstores.

Normally, I head straight for the fantasy/sci fi section to see if they have any new David Eddings books that I have not yet read (and I found one today that was originally $27.95 hardback and sold used for $6.50!) Today, however, I headed into the children section for a trip down memory lane. I absolutely adore looking at the books that I used to read, the books that changed me into the person that I am today. Most of them were magic, of course, such as Half Magic, which my mom used to read a chapter of every night before my sister and I went to bed...

The Tales of Chrestomanci, which I discovered on my own (and would recommend to anyone)...

and, my favorite, the Roald Dahl Treasury. I used to own this book but it got lost somewhere and I've never been able to find this again. This is sad because it is something I would love to share with my future children when they get to the age to appreciate the beautiful insanity that is Roald Dahl's genius. (I will pay anyone who finds this book and wants to send it to me!)

Then, of course, I went down into the fantasy/sci-fi section.

When I look at these books, I feel revived again and I wish desperately to someday be one of their number. I would like to publish a book that is unique, one that people will read for years to come.

By the way, my mom discovered the most interesting video that I've ever seen. It's pretty steampunk, although I will mention that it isn't what my book is exactly going for. It's a little sad but a great video. Hope you all like it!

Changin' My Ways

Today is marks the first day of my "addiction" project for my Drugs in Our Society class.

The project is sort of like the one that I did last semester in my Woman's Health class, where I take some part of my life that I'm not fond of and work on it. This project is specifically something that I am addicted to that I want to change about my life. Some people are going to try to stop smoking; others are going to stop drinking caffeine (which is what I attempted to do last semester and it didn't work out so well). I, however, am going to try to stop arguing.

Stop laughing.

All of you who know me well, I know that you're rib-cages are probably just bursting at the thought that I'm actually going to attempt this feat. I have a bad temper. Yes, I know this. I'm a lot like my father and I love to win arguments. I know this also. However, I have a boyfriend who despises arguing and almost always refuses to argue with me. This will be safeguard, my corner stone.

Although, when I told Jo, he thought this was just as funny as you probably do and told me, "I wont even give you a week." My goal for this week is to prove him wrong.

So yes, this is Day 1 of that. And this project is going for about a month. I will keep you all updated on my progress.

On other news, I have decided to Steampunk my novel.

For all of you who don't know what Steampunk is, it is a mixture of the Renaissance Era and the Industrial Revolution, a time torn between the era of beauty and romance, and the beginnings of new technology, such as clockwork and steam powered machinery.



Airships, steam powered technology, but still with the hint of fantasy and renaissance dress. I've always been fascinated by this type of fashion and lifestyle, and a friend of mine (whom I play D&D with) has suggested more than once that we try a Steampunk D&D group. (Airships! Yay!) I would gladly partake in that!! Anyway, this just means a lot of research but a lot of fun. Especially if I could dress up in Steampunk at some point while I wrote the novel. (Maybe I'll get a group together to dress up and debut my novel.) It also works really well for the storyline that I'm writing because it's just the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, so some things are "in" and some things "out."

Anyway, that's all that I can give to you about the storyline right now. I'm still a fantasy writer but I'm getting more into the sci-fi stuff, so I can't ignore it completely in my novel anymore. (Also, it doesn't help that I'm dating a scientist who helps me with basically anything that I want to know regarding science and technology.)

The Writer's Conference is only a few weeks away!!!

An Odd Take

I was going to tell you all about the protest that is going to take place on Tuesday, the first California mandatory furlough day of the semester; however, I think that blog will do further justice on Tuesday when I (hopefully) attend the protest.

So, on a different note, I'll start with this thought:

There are some memories that never die.

This was brought up in my human sexuality class on Monday. We were discussing love, the different types of love and your "LoveMap," which are the traits that your subconscious finds attractive in other people, when my professor just so happened to mention that love can be a very strong bond. Especially when it's your first love.

People shun high school relationships as something temporary, and mock their endings, when both sides are left bleeding. People laugh at the love that children feel for one another and shoot it down, saying that it can't be true love because they are only children. How can they know what love is, right? But, truth be told, they are experiencing their own version of love, which is the strongest emotion their minds can comprehend at the moment. There's even been studies done on it. So I have to ask, why don't those same adult's who criticize a child's "puppy love" mock the love of college students? They're just high school students a few years older. Or why don't grandparents mock the love of adults? They're just full-grown children. What do they know of love, right?

Heck. We might as well mock all love in America. It means nothing with as high as the divorce rate is these days.

I suppose this is why I found the video that we watched in my Human Sexuality class uninteresting. It dealt with love and how we find love, our LoveMap as it were. With all the divorces this day and age, telling people that they should get married just based on love just makes me want to laugh. The end of the video, however, was all about arranged marriages from the perspective of those who are in them. I found this interesting because those people actually preferred those marriages and said that, if they had the option, they would rather choose to have a marriage arranged than actually to arrange one themselves.

This is because the people in arranged marriages base their marriage on trust, obligation, and duty, instead of just love. "Love isn't important when you first get married," one man said. "Love comes later." Surprisingly, because of this, the two people learn to trust each other more because they aren't blinded with those romantic feelings. According to these people, their relationship works better that way because, as one person suggested, "You have a lifetime to get to know someone. You're never going to know them completely when you first get married."

Now I know that you all know my second biggest fear is marriage because of my parent's divorce. However, this video gave me some hope. If I can, someday, get married and build a marriage upon those foundations (including love, of course, because a marriage needs love), then I have a better change of staying married longer. And my fear of marriage should begin to shrink.

Instead of ending this on a "I'm all hopeful" thought, I'd like to ask you all a question. What is your LoveMap? What are the things that you for in a person personality-wise, physically, ect that make you go "I need to walk across the room just to talk to that person"? Everyone has their own LoveMap. What's yours?