The Dripping Darkness

You think things are good. You're reaching towards the light and your fingertips just barely brush it. Fascinated by the illumination on your fingers, you just stare, blissfully happy. And then the world goes black and you are in darkness again. In the emptiness again. All there is left to do is weep.

I didn't get the job, as some of you might have guessed. I didn't even get a second interview. And then it all fell back again upon working "at the hardware store." I don't want to work at the hardware store. This is not in offense to my previous coworkers or my former boss. Sure, I loved it there and I miss all of them. However, it's time for me to move on. But, at every turn, all I hear is, "Why don't you go work at the hardware store?" or "why don't you go home for the summer and go back to work at the hardware store?" And I feel as if I'm losing my balance, falling backwards as I struggle to keep upright.

I am told that there is more than embracing the darkness. I am told that I should search for the light, because it is there, somewhere. But when all is darkness, all I can do is adjust my eyes and go on. Maybe the light will find me someday. Either way, I cannot keep from weeping.