It Only Gets Better

I have had crazy first days before but today topped the cake.

(DISCLAIMER: As I'm now a Health Ed major, I'm using real terms for a person's sex parts. So, if this upsets you, you might not want to read this blog. There aren't any pornographic scenes in this blog. I just don't want people freaking out if I used the proper term for a woman' Va-JJ.)

I woke up this morning with 3 things in mind: apply for a job, visit my adviser, and visit the health center.

My first stop was was to my adviser's office, 6 stories up the 2nd tallest building on campus. I needed to make a student education plan to turn in so I could get a certain amount of money that I get every month from the government. Even though my adviser had told me she would be there early, I'm assuming my time and her time was much different because she wasn't there. I checked my watch (8:30am) and signed my name next to the next earliest time slot (9:20am), imagining that I could get to the health center and back in time. So I left and went to apply for a job on campus that had just shown up on the student employment website (and just disappeared, which makes me really ridiculously nervous). When I walked in, the lady at the front desk was extremely nice to me, helping me with the application form, but, before I could turn it in, a man came in and began to cause some problems. When I say problems, I mean he was very rude to her and inconsiderate of the fact that she was trying very hard to help him. I finished my application and no one even looked at me as I set it down on the counter, so I tip-toed out of the office, praying that they took my application and looked at it. (I'm really qualified for this job so I'm even going to go in again tomorrow just to make sure.)

Then I went to the Student Health Center. The craziness begins.

I have had quite a few "injuries" in the past week. Yesterday, I cut my thumb while cutting watermelon (and have now been asked twice if I'm current on my tetanus shots). Last Monday, I shrunk my favorite pair of slip-ons after putting them in the washing machine with towels on hot and then went on a job hunt with them on, which was a dumb idea because the back of my feet are just beginning to heal after the horrific blisters that the now-tossed shoes caused. And then there's the folliculitis, which appeared out of no where on my legs and I finally convinced myself to go into the Health Center for it. As I walked in, I checked in with the receptionist and told her what I had and she asked me to take a seat. I was called in only a few blissful minutes later and sat down with a nurse to get my weight and blood pressure and such. And then this conversation took place:
Nurse: So, Megan, how can I help you today?
Me: Well, I have folliculitis and I'd just like it to be taken care of.
Nurse: ...I see.
Me: Because, you know it's embarrassing. It's all over my legs. I cant even wear shorts.
Nurse: It's... on your legs?
Me: Ya. Look. (I pull up the leg of my jeans). Where else would it be?
Nurse: Ah. There must have been some mistake. This says you're in here for a vaginal exam.
Me: What??
We got the matter straightened out but I was still mistakened for another Megan who was there (maybe she was there for the vaginal exam but it certainly wasn't me!). By the time I got out of the Health Center it was... yes, you guessed it... 9:20. I ran all the way back to my adviser's room only to find her waiting for me without any one else around so I got that taken care of.

I went home to shower before class at 2 and took a pill for my folliculitis before I got in. It had said on the bottle that I was supposed to eat before taking a pill but me, being the dummy I am, decided that since I wasn't really hungry at the moment and had eaten at 8, I could take it without a problem. Boy, that was dumb. As I got out of the shower, I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming urge to vomit and my stomach cramped something fierce. I sat on the floor next to the toilet for about 20 minutes, debating whether or not I really wanted to get up and dry my hair. I eventually did and, by the time I had to go to school, I was rushing.

I got my bike out the door. I locked the door. I got on my bike and put my foot on the pedal and... nothing happened. I didn't go anywhere. I looked down to realize the chain had COME OFF MY BIKE PEDALS! One glance at my watch told me that I only had about 30 minutes until I had to be at school. Parking cars at school is absolutely a no no and parking your bike... it's hard, as well. Quickly, my hands shaking like crazy, I started trying to figure out how to put my chain back on. I went by instinct because I'm not a bike person. (I've never put a bike together or fixed it or anything.) Finally the chain was on but I still stared at the bike, wondering if I put it on right. Who, honestly, looks at their bike when it's fine? So, I ran back in the house to try and clean off the grease off my hands as fast as possible and then ran back out, somehow misplacing my sunglasses along the way (but as this point I didn't care). I move my bike a few feet forward and then it made an odd rrrrrrggg sound. "Dang," I thought. "I killed it. I don't even know how it died! I just biked home 3 hours ago..." Thankfully, I bumped into one of my neighbors and he told me that everything was fine, it was just the rain guard bumping against the tire, which we fixed. I rode to school.

The day definitely looked up after that. My class today was Human Sexuality and my professor told the funniest story that I have ever heard. Apparently, one of her friends is a gynacologist and they get together occasionally to tell stories. He told her about this girl who came to him for birth control and he gave her a prescription for the pill. He expected to see her in about a year for her annual check-up but, instead, she was in 3 or 4 weeks later, with signs of being pregnant. He checked to make sure that she had been taking the pill every day, at the same time, and she had, so he was confused as to why she was pregnant if she and her boyfriend had both been using birth control. Well, it turned out that she had been following his directions, but, instead of taking it orally, she had been placing the pill inside of her vagina. Yea. Totally made my day.

Then I came home and watched this and I'm now cheered up.